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Calculate the manipulator: 12 features of his behavior

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We all want to believe people, but not everyone deserves trust. Sometimes you should take a closer look – whether your colleague or buddy builds your own plans at your expense. Here are a few signs that indicate that next to you is a liar and a manipulator.

“What web we weave when we go for the first time,” Walter Scott wrote in the poem “Marmion”. “Marmion” talks about the love that managed to survive, despite the constant lie, manipulation and the betrayal of two intriguers. A story written two centuries ago did not lose relevance, because human nature, alas, remains unchanged.

How much easier it would be to live if every egoist, deceiver, malicious manipulator would be easy to expose! Alas, they are well able to hide their real intentions, and many innocent people fall into the very “web” that Sir Walter Scott wrote about at one time.

The victims of the “spiders” find themselves in the most unexpected unpleasant situations, and they have to rake the consequences of someone else’s egoism. In order not to fall into such a trap, it is important to see it in advance. Having learned to see the “web of lies” from afar, we can bypass it, avoiding many troubles.

What does this “web” and “spiders” look like that weave it? Here are 12 signs that will help identify dishonest people, deceivers and manipulators.

1. They hide the true intentions. If someone calls others to frankness, but he himself does not want to talk much about himself, this is a reason to be wary. This approach allows you to first learn more about others, get closer to them, then to use them for their own purposes.

2. They assign the fruits of someone else’s labor. Such a person collects information about other people’s plans and projects, tries to find out valuable information, attributing all the merits to himself. If someone is actively interested in the affairs of others, it is possible that he just wants to steal someone else’s idea.

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3. They arrange scandals from scratch. This is the simplest technique of manipulation: make a tempting proposal or make unreasonable claims. Thus, the deceiver provokes the “victim” to the meeting, where he sharply changes the topic of the conversation and “attacks” from a completely different, unexpected side.

4. They hide important information. Limiting access to important information, manipulators put others in a dependent position, forcing them to obey.

5. They crush you with gifts. An unexpected gift helps to arrange a person to himself. In addition, the received gift feels in debt to the manipulator. Remember that a gift by definition is a disinterested gesture. He does not oblige you to anything.

6. They make useful connections with unscrupulous methods. Many insincere people are constantly looking for new beneficial acquaintances that can be useful to them in the future. Typically, the manipulator offers in return certain services or gifts, often illegal or capable of spoiling a reputation. In the future, this can be used for pressure or even direct blackmail.

7. They try to find out your weaknesses. Another tactics of manipulators and intriguers – pretending to be friends, they try to learn more about your weaknesses. Such a person can at the most unexpected moment ask some kind of innocent question, hoping to catch you by surprise and get a frank answer. This information will surely be used against you.

8. They fill up their price. Fluders and manipulators love to disappear from view just at the time when you urgently need them. Thus, they try to increase their value in our eyes. Usually such a person appears at the very last moment and solves the problem, earning himself a reputation as a “hero” and “savior”. Sometimes later it turns out that he created the problem himself.

9. They are unpredictable. Constantly changing his habits and behavior, the deceiver holds everyone around in constant tension, forcing him to spend a lot of time and time to predict what can be expected from him.

10. They pretend to be stupid. Often, a smart intriguer is beneficial for him to be considered a non -tombstone person. This gives him time to evaluate the situation and prepare for the “attack”, and also helps to hide the true motives.

eleven. They try to become pets of bosses. It is especially difficult for bosses to recognize deceivers among subordinates, even if other subordinates understand everything perfectly well. Manipulators are flattering the authorities, implicitly obey and often depict themselves as a victim, hoping that the boss will defend them. Of course, they try to hide what is happening and deny everything.

12. They leave behind some “ruins” and always shift the guilt on others. The most reliable method to identify manipulators, deceivers, and intriguers is to find out their past. If a whole “loop” of victims and “scapegoats” on which they fall guilty is drawn behind them, this is a very alarming sign. Beware of those who constantly blame for all the problems of someone else.



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